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Alcohol and Your Marriage

One of the surest ways to rip a marriage apart is for a spouse to develop alcoholism. Alcohol and your marriage can be a sordid combination, one that can be particularly negative if your spouse didn't consume much alcohol before the marriage, but later develops the habit of getting drunk at the worst times (e.g. when an important event arises). Alcoholics often lie to their spouses about how much they drink, breaking the bond of trust. Often, even when confronted with the evidence (the bottle), an alcoholic will deny drinking. Some spouses would rather to escape the horrific truth, so they pretend nothing is happening. However, until the alcoholic spouse is ready to admit that they have a drinking issue, there is not much that the non-alcoholic spouse can do about it.

Alcoholism is a strange disease that incites strange behavior in the using spouse. Confiscating or discarding the alcohol only causes the alcoholic to become angrier and sneakier. It also seems as though the more you scream or plead the worse the situation gets. When you threaten to leave the marriage, they straighten up for a little while, but gradually go back to drinking, and each time this scenario occurs, it gets worse.

When alcohol has affected your marriage, the non-alcoholic spouse is urged to take care of themself. By enrolling in a program such Al-Anon the individual can learn about the things that they have control over and what they cannot control, and how to live with a drinker whom he or she loves. The majority of individuals who are married to alcoholics become codependent, meaning they conjure up excuses for them, inadvertently encouraging them to keep up their behavior. Al-Anon programs are designed to assist the non-alcoholic spouse in handling their own addiction (saving the alcoholic spouse). The program can show them how to lead a fulfilling life while the alcoholic spouse gradually begins to realize that they will not lie, manipulate, or conjure up excuses for them anymore.

It is very difficult for the non-alcoholic spouse to accomplish this on their own, therefore, seeking a support group is highly recommended. If your marriage is being affected by alcoholism, the only way the alcoholic will stop drinking is if they want to. This is why it is so important for the non-alcoholic spouse to concentrate on helping themslef.

Oftentimes, when the communication in a marriage breaks down one spouse tends to turn to alcohol to drown in their sorrows. Some individuals have a natural tendency of not sharing their sorrows with their spouse, causing them to feel lonely and empty inside. Gradually, these feelings cause frustration and a growth in their alcohol intake, which often leads to addiction. Lack of intimacy in a relationship can also lead to excessive alcoholic intake. Generally, after several years of marriage, most individuals begin taking their partners for granted, which causes a lack of caring and sharing in the relationship. To reduce the risk of alcoholism in your marriage, it is necessary to communicate openly with each other.

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